I ended up getting one!

An Ab Circle Pro that is! I am into my 3rd day of using it, so I don't have abs of steel to report .... yet! It's really weird, I don't feel 'the burn' when I am using it but about 20 mins later - pow! My abs feel like they have run a marathon! I was trying to explain it to Charlie last night - my layer of fat feels nothing - I can poke it and prod it and it's all good - but as soon as I engage my ab muscles - post work out pain! I am quite surprised by this little revelation considering there is no workout pain whilst doing the exercise. Anyway - I will give it a few weeks to see if there is any difference to my midrift section. In other news.... I have been getting a lot of compliments about my body lately. People are telling me I am looking slimmer. Mum says I might loose my butt :( but I think there is plenty there to survive my intended weightloss. Kellie definately got back!! Even though I have been getting these compliments, I still feel like I have not achieved much. I am really struggling with my brain's tendancy to think negatively about my body and weightloss success. I am hoping that I can keep sight of the bigger picture and am often reaching for my progress shots to reiterate to myself how far I have come. The scale has not been moving since my unfill :( this makes me a little sad and is putting me into a mini-funk. I wish the scale didn't rule my self perception - but it does! I let it though. This will be one of my never-ending struggles with losing weight and mind over matter. I often tell people I don't care what the scale says - but deep down I do :( What makes it worse is that I am getting so many compliments on my body but in reality the scale isn't moving downward .... and it's just a little hard to be ever so gracious in accepting a compliment when I feel crap about the scale reading ! I should be exstatic - what's wrong with me??

Week 3 Spring Challenge Result

Last week 256.8, this week 256.6 = loss of 0.2 pounds.

Umm ok. So I guess I am now officially re-hydrated!! This week has been very up and down and I relly didn't know what to expect when I weighed in. I am not thrilled with the result but it is not a gain - so I am just going to work with it and hope the result is better for next weeks weigh in.

I have now finished the relay 4 life! My legs are so sore I can barely walk. I think I walked a total of 8-9 hours!!! That's pretty impressive and does explain my lack of ability to walk today! I did the whole relay with no sleep (30+ hours) and am a little sun-burnt.

I have had a 3 1/5 hour nap this afternoon. I am not feeling great but once I get a good nights sleep tonight I will be fine. The main thing was, that I kept up my water throughout the relay and I finished it!!

Here are a few pics from the event.

Relay 4 Life - Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back!

Tomorrow I am participating in the Cancer Council's Relay 4 Life. It is such a worthy cause. Cancer affects so many people all over the world and the sooner we find cures for as many different types of cancer we can , the better!

Please support me by making a donation by clicking on this link. I am personally blessed not to have lost a loved one to this disease but many people I know, both in real life and internet life have lost, lived with or beat cancer. I am doing this relay for you and your loved ones, for your memory and for your hope for a future without Cancer.

New blogger on the block!

This is my friend Meegan's blog. She is someone I met while researching gastric banding and her story is truly inspiring. She has rocked her band, lost well over 60kgs (or is it 70 now??) and is looking fantastic!!

Meegan is new to blogging - so click on the link above and show her some blogger-love!!!

Some relief and an NSV!

Had my unfill today - .5mls leaving me with 4.5mls. All I can say is thank goodness for that! I can drink properly and eat!! YAY!

Since Saturday I had lost 3kgs (mostly through dehydration).

Here is my NSV:

My new size 16/18 pyjama pants!! I haven't bought this size in many years ... I only bought them because I thought I might fit into them before it starts to get too cold here. Tried them on and presto! They fit!! I do have a midsection muffin but I don't care!!! haha

Un-fill needed :(

I am booked in for tomorrow to have an unfill. I am hoping he will only take out a little. I did really need a fill but maybe 1ml was just too much. Here's hoping he only takes out .5ml ...

Wish me luck :)

Tight as!

Since my fill on Saturday I have only been able to drink water :( Not fun.

I decided to give it a few days to see if it eases up. I hope it does. I am certain I needed a fill. My portion sizes had become quite big again but this tightness is difficult to deal with.

I am literally having a lot of trouble with anything except water. I have even tried a few sips of Iced Coffee but it eventually keeps coming back up.

How long should I wait to see if it settles. I am not haiving any reflux or pain - just the uncomfortableness followed by a burp or a burp with a little overflow of water or milk etc??

This has thrown a little spanner in the works for me being able to achieve my weekly goal of drinking 2L of water a day. I am lucky to get down 1 cup.

Any advice would be appreciated ...

Week 2 Spring Challenge Result

Last week 259.2, this week 256.8 = loss of 2.4 pounds.


To be honest this result is very good considering my hormonal eating this week.


The fill yesterday has definately done the trick. My eating has reduced significantly. Looking forward to next week's weigh in if this scale indication is anything to go by.


Thank you to all the lovely comments about my face comparison picture. I don't realise how far I have come until I put 2 pictures side to side like that. Even my surgeon says I am too hard on myself and that I am doing a good job. He is the one with the title so I should take his word for it!!


Oh and I definately promise to do something about these toenails this week!!

Face Comparison

OMG I was shocked when I was editing these pictures. I am very excited. Look at the change of my entire chin ... WOW! The left was taken November 2010, the right was taken tonight March 2011 - 4 months post op.

Surgeon Visit ... Today!

I have an appointment with my Dr in less than 2 hours for a fill! I am so nervous. Not because of the needle, it's more about hoping on that damn scale :(

I weighed myself this morning and I am up 400 grams from last weeks challenge weigh in ... this is not good. It does however highlight my need for a fill.

He is a lovely man, so I am sure he will be really nice about it but I can't help feeeling that I am not making the most of this opportunity I have given myself. I need to start being more proactive about my weightloss.

Goals for this week:

Drink 2L of water per day

Jillian Michaels Wii Workout x 2 days

Netball x 2 days

Basketball x 1 day

Walk at least 40 mins x 2 days

These goals and my fill should kickstart the weightloss. Stay tuned for an update on my weekly goals and my fill experience.

Post-Exercise Pic with a side of NSV!!

Well it's a little late but Lapband Gal asked what we were doing for excerise today and to post a picture either pre/during/post exercise. So here is mine. Post Basketball with my son. My face has a definate shade of red and I am nice and sweaty! I promised myself before I uploaded the pic that I wasn't going to analyse the photo - so guess what I am here doing right now!! lol Some things never change - but I am still going to post it anyway!

I must admit I should have worked harder tonight. It wasn't through lack of motivation or laziness, I was held back by my pants. Yes that's right - my PANTS!! They kept falling down!!!

I am going to take this as a nice little NSV! Also during the match, I got a compliment about my weightloss. When I say compliment - I use the term loosely - the umpire of the game actually called out to me - mid game - while I was dribbling the ball - yelled it across the court so everyone could hear. I personally think this was slightly rude but I am choosing to see the positive of this. She thinks I'm getting skinny!!!

To be honest - I felt like saying - No I haven't - just so she would feel embarrassed to have said it in the first place - but I was feeling forgiving and made a little joke of it by saying she should be concentrating more on umpiring the game and not checking me out!!

Whoo hoo - it's Friday tomorrow!!!!

I could literally eat a horse!

I'm hormonal. TOM is here :( and as for restriction .... what restriction??

Today I have felt ravenous - still 'feel' ravenous. I have eaten plenty - both good and some bad choices but I still feel like an empty pit. I have read that some ladies experience tightness around TOM but I feel the opposite. I have just eaten a full piece of toast within 5 minutes .... that's crazy. It normally takes me at least 20 minutes, if I can eat it at all.

It's amazing how easy it is to fall into old habits. I am still fighting against them but it's hard and I don't always resist. I am not going to dwell on these moments but I really wish it was easier just to say no! I don't actually think I am hungry at all - I think it's definately head hunger - or hormone hunger - maybe I should go to bed and hide away from temptation!

3 days til my next fill. It can't come soon enough.

What are your favourite things to do to resist the awful head/hormonal hunger feelings? I don't think I can use "go to sleep, instead" forever!!!

Pictures!

Well as you all know I was a little down and out and decided I needed to get a grip and focus on the positives. Nothing gets me more motivated than progess pictures. So here they are! I think I might print one off and put it inside the pantry door ;)

Here are the positives:

(top - Oct 2010, bottom - Mar 2011)

And here is the comparison to last month:

(top - Feb 2011, bottom - Mar 2011)

Week 1 Spring Challenge Result **Edited**

Well I guess it could have been worse :(

This is not a great result. I was hoping for more but my unexpected binge frenzy has not gone un-noticed. Yesterday was better, but there's still room for improvement.

Here's hoping for a better result next week but in the meantime - whoo hoo 250's!!!

Hope you guys all had a better challenge week than I did :)

**Edited to add:**

I just re-read my post after publishing it and thought to myself - jeez Negative Nancy look at your ticker, look at the progress you've made so far, look at the changes you are making to your lifestyle.

Well I looked.

I looked at a ticker that tells me I have lost 13.9 kg (just over 30 pounds). I should celebrate that.

I looked at the food I am eating for breakfast. A lot healthier than the 'old' kellie. I should celebrate that.

I looked at my pyjamas and notice how they nearly fall down when I wear them because they are that big on me. I remember a time that I used to squeeze my butt into these. I should celebrate that too!

So even though my week was not so great - today I sit here and celebrate how far I have come so far.

And it feels good!

What are you celebrating today?

Struggle Street

Recently the scale has been going down which is fantastic. I have started to receive some lovely comments about my weightloss which is also fantastic. But. I have a history of being in a good place, feeling good, getting results and bang. I do things (I'm not sure if it's on purpose or not) like eat ice cream and all these other bad things, I stuff my face. I hate it when I get like this.

Why oh why do I do this to myself? Obviously it's no where near as bad as it used to be pre-band and the amount I am eating is far less. It's still not good. This is really bad behaviour.

My head is all over the place. I think I might be crazy!

Ok deep breaths .... Let's hope not too much damage has been done. I will start tomorrow off by doing a Jillian Michaels Workout on the Wii, and hopefully reduce the damage of tonight's mini-binge.

NSV!

I played netball last night (as I normally do) except this time I was sick and I did the unthinkable for any overweight unfit person - I played Centre! OK so it was only for 10 minutes, but that is huge for me.

The player who plays centre has to run the entire length of the court - up and back following the ball etc. That's 30.5 metres one way! I am very pleased with myself. I usually only play GS (shooter) or GK (defense) which is limited to 1/3 of the court. The best thing was how my team mates all supported and congratulated me afterwards! Most of them know I have been banded and they all know that I NEVER play Centre!! Well not now.... Now I know I can ..... but only if I NEED to ;)

Yay me!

Sick :(

I feel like death warmed up - we are all sick with a viral flu infection :( not nice.

I have no energy, but I am soldiering on!

I haven't made the best food choices the last couple of days, and I am hoping it doesn't have to mach of an impact on the scale. Its so hard to eat healthier when sick - or is that me just making excuses??

I am trying to keep up the activity level but I am getting exhausted doing such small things, and am constantly body tired :(

My 2 year old is craving so much attention, and so I must go - there are plenty of cuddles to be handed out. I hate it when the kids are sick :( but the cuddles are the silver lining to my cloud!!!

Ready, Set ... GO!

Excuse the very bad polish, I have been a little lazy - I really must fix that, it looks terrible! My goal for this week will be to re-do the toe nails :)

OK so this morning's weigh in was 260.4pds. I flipped it over to measure in kilos straight after and the result was 118.2kgs - according to my converter that is a 100 gram variance but I'll stick with the 260.4 for the challenge.

If I measured in pounds I guess I would be getting excited about being in the 250's soon! Since I started this journey at nearly 290 pds that is pretty awesome.

I still see the same image in the mirror though - I feel the changes but am not able to see them yet.

To everyone participating in the challenge - I look forward to being motivated by all of your successes :)

Goal for this week will be to continue to drink about 2 litres of water a day. Amanda, like myself is a little H20-challenged - we can do this!! I found the Sip and Gulp Challenge very motivating to make sure I was drinking enough water. So thank you to Ms M for the challenge. I think I might pretend that I am still in that challenge to help me make drinking water a regular part of my day.

Cheers

Spring Challenge Starts Tomorrow!

I am looking forward to the Spring Challenge which kicks off tomorrow. I have been going well lately. Still staying off the iced coffee, still exercising, still need to keep up my water. Same old, same old.

Some days I feel the need for a fill, others I get stuck on everything. There's no manual to this band - kind of like having kids really - just take it day by day!

I have been reading that some ladies experience tightness around that time of the month (TOM) I am now tracking my cycle so that I can see how Portia goes during those times. Currently I have no idea about due times etc (joys of having a Mirena as my chosen method of contraception) but I am consiously making the effort to keep up-to-date so I can see when/if it plays a part in how Portia is working.

I will be participating in the local Relay for Life to help raise money for cancer research later this month. It is my first physical challenge that I have set myself. On the plus side - it is a fantastic cause. Here is the info if anyone is interested: http://relayforlife.org.au/

I will be posting my first scale result photo tomorrow (the photo is required as part of the spring challenge) but I am CHOOSING to post it. This is a big step for me. HUGE! I am also choosing to put the weight up in pounds - just cause almost everyone else in the challenge uses that system. I will convert for my own record.

Goodluck to all those in the challenge. I am seeing it as another step in my journey to be accountable. Wish me luck!

Flat?

I'm not sure why or how or who ... but I just feel like I'm in a bit of a funk - feeling flat I guess. Nothing is bad, nothing is wrong, there are no major dramas in my life at the moment (that I am aware of at least) and for some reason I am just feeling a bit .. meh!

My eating is improving - it could definately be better - but like I said it's improving so that is good. I am no longer addicted to my milky iced coffee's which I used to love so much. I still haven't reached a great restriction level as yet, but I know I will probably get that with my next visit later this month.

Maybe it's work. Work is very ... what's the word ... unstimulating. Yes I think that's it. Unfortunately I am in a well paying job for the work that I do so I will not be able to change these circumstances for a while.

I need to turn my frown upside down!

Sorry this post is very .. unstimulating - but that's kinda where I am now. I hope to re-enter the world of normaldom soon.