Monday, June 27, 2011

ARGH! Brain stress :(

I have had alot going on lately. I seriously wish my brain had an off switch - I just want to think about absolutely nothing, just for a little while... Is that really too much to ask? Of course it is!!

It doesn't help that I have been feeling really low now for a few weeks. I think it may be something I need to see my local doctor about. Maybe my problem is that when I used to feel like this I could eat away any negative feelings - for a short while anyways - and now I can't! It's so hard! Now I have to actually deal with my feelings.

Life in general has just been stressing me out. I know there will be an end to the stress eventually I just wish it was now :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

7 month post op progress pics!

Here are my latest monthly progress pics! Slightly late but better late than ever!

Oh and todays weigh in was a good one - I am offically under 110kgs! Todays weigh in 109.8kgs. What a great feeling!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

My ducks just won't cooperate!

You know how each spectrum of our lives can be represented by a duck and when they are all lined up it means that all is well? Yeah? Well my ducks are all over the place! Why when one or two or even three things in your life can be fantastic, those little ducks are doing the best they can, they are staying a float, in general, just being great little ducks. Those poor hardworking ducks can be spoiled by a measly forth duck not doing it job :(

My weightloss duck is awesome. My weightloss duck is the best duck of the lot so far!

My work ducks (I have 2) one is about professional relationships within my office (I struggle with some of the personalities I work with) well that duck is bobbing away nicely, no major dramas. That little duck is always fighting to stay afloat. It bites my tongue in situations where I really need to compose a response. My other work duck is task orientated. I am stretched to the limit with this poor duck. I am currently doing three jobs at the moment so this little duck has a tough job to stay afloat.

Each duck that represents each of my children is doing my head in. They just dont want to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. They are fiesty little buggers! I love them more than anything in this world though. Enough said.

My relationship duck is sinking. Let's hope I get some floaties for this little duck ASAP. My relationships duck is making it hard for me to see all the other wonderfully positive things going on in my life right now. I hate that it is happening, but it is what it is.

Here's hoping my little ducks start cooperating some time in the near future - cause honestly by brain could use a break from stress.

I seen an all time low on the scale this morning!! It's not an official weigh day but I don't care I have reached a new milestone I am now under 110 kgs. 109.9 to be exact!

I have an appointment wi th my surgeon this afternoon. I don't think I will get a fill. I am happy where I am at the moment and don't really want to be on the tight side so I think I will just continue to monitor what I am doing and see him again in 6 weeks if I need a top up.

I hope you are all having a wonderful start to your week :) Sorry I have been a little absent of late, but I just haven't been feeling it lately. I have been reading everyday though but I know I should comment more!

Take care :)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Butterfly Brain Strikes Again!

I am having so much trouble focussing. Not on anything specific, just everything in general. I feel kind of lost in a way. It reminds me of the saying jack of all trades, master of nothing! Because that is how I feel. I am getting stuff done both at work and home but I am not mastering either.

My brain thinks about one thing, and then before I have actioned a thought it flits to something else! I literally feel like my brain has turned into a butterfly. Flit flit flit!

I would like to be able to focus on decluttering. It is something I really need to do. When I declutter, everything seems to appear to be in a sharper focus. I am going to try to focus on that this weekend - starting at home - it's definately time for a clean out.

On the band front I am having no real problems with Portia - I think we might even be friends, even BFFs. I have had no stuck episodes in ages. The scale is continuing to go down (albeit slowly!) I am sitting on a new low. My pants are baggy.

All in all, things are going along ok. I just wish this butterfly would get out of my head so I could focus on getting things done!! Joys of being a Gemini I guess -there's always at least 2 people in your head at any one time!!

Hope you are all having a great week.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Scale Milestone!!!

Today I have an awesome scale milestone to report. I am now officially down 20.8kgs!! (45.7 pounds).

I am so excited! Never have I been able to lose this amount of weight in the past. I have always gotten to 10-15kgs lost and self sabotaged myself until I had gained it all back and then some. Prior to being banded I had lost the same 10 kilos over and over and over. I look at my progress graph and I am just so proud of myself for making this decision.

This week has been an emotional roller coaster and I am so thankful it ends with a little positive news - no matter how little the positive it is definately something to celebrate.

I have been in a 'I hate the world' phase this week but the tragic loss of a tiny soul does that to a person I guess.

My little girl has been knocked down with the flu and asthma. I must admit I do love the chance of getting some good snuggles but wish that they were not the result of her feeling so unwell. Mind you I think she might be sharing the flu with me :( lets hope she can return the snuggles favor!!

Hope you are all having a good week :)

Friday, June 3, 2011

:( I have no words...

A dear friend gave birth to a beautiful little girl this past weekend. However what should have been a joyous occasion became any soon-to-be parent's worst nightmare when she was born sleeping.

Rest in Peace baby Annabella Violet.

My heart goes out to her and her family at this tragic time :( and I take this tragic event as a reminder to cherish our families with everything we have - every second of every day.