Thursday, June 10, 2010

The band is out of the bag ....

To tell or not to tell that was the question....

I have been weighing up the pros and cons about whether I should tell work I am having WLS. Pro - they will not be concerned or question why I am eating mashed food when I return to work - Con - They may be judgemental and say hurtful things - Pro - they can support me with my journey .. and so on and so on...

Today I decided, stuff it, Im going to let them know. I mean the only real reason I can think of not telling people is because I am afraid that once I tell people they will be watching me, waiting to see if I have failed (yet again) but the scary thing about failing this time is that people would know. That is the main thing that makes me apprehensive. Do I not want to be accountable? Maybe thats another reason. Will I be the person it doesn't work for?

So in saying all that I told almost everyone at work. OMG!!! They were all good, although I did see a few eyes look away guiltily trying to hide the "ooohhhh" expression they must have been thinking. But that may have been my imagination! Being very overweight we tend to think people are always thinking negative things about us how can we not when we are thinking those things too?

Well now its all out, work has asked me to firm up what time off I need and all that. I am hoping to get three weeks to be honest I could use the break! Hopefully my surgeon will allow that much time. Fingers Crossed x

As it turns out I am being banded 1 week before my son's 4th birthday. I know its going to be a struggle but I'm hoping my mum will step in and help with the party I have planned for him. He's having a bike party at the local road safety centre. He will love it. Im hoping I will be mobile enough for me not to impact his day negatively.

I am hoping that 2010 will be the last year I will be Miss Fatty in birthday photos, bring on Miss Hotty for 2011 I say!

On another note, the time seems to be scooting along nicely. I remember 7 months ago when I got my private health insurance and was informed I had a 12 month waiting period, I was thinking, it's ages away. I have to wait SOOOOOO long. Now it seems like time is literally flying! Only 5 months to go!

Whoohooo!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

This time next year, who will I be?

Random Thoughts

It's funny that now when an event happens such as mother's day or my birthday, I automatically start thinking 'Wow what will I look like this time next year?' Is it strange to think you might not look like you anymore? I'm a little frightened of not looking like me even though obviously there's things about me that could do with some serious work!

I'm trying not to get offended by people saying 'You will look great or fnatastic' That's what I want them to day isnt it? But the other little voice on my shoulder says 'Do I not look fantastic now?'

Why is it that overweight people are considered ugly or unpretty?

Cheers
Kellie :)