Sunday, November 27, 2011

The year that was...

OK I promised and here it is, my extended 1 year post op blog post.  Better late than never!

Why did I choose surgery:
Well I was a skeptic at first....yes you read that right.  I was so skeptical I wasted at least 5 years of potentially being a healthy weight.  I tried all the diets, fads, pills, shakes, programs etc, but I always felt like a failure when I just couldn't sustain the lifestyle.  Then I used the excuse of wanting children.  Why get skinny now just to get fat again (?) OMG how stupid do I feel now for that excuse.  I made the final decision to have surgery when my youngest was nearly 1 and I just could not control my weight, no matter what I did  I always ended up bigger.

Why I chose lap band:
I chose lapband because it was considered less risky than the other surgery options.  I liked they idea that my organs were going to stay the same, there was no internal chopping going on etc.  I am a bit sooky when it comes to surgery so from all the options this seemed like the perfect choice for me.  I also looked up lapband on the internet and found all these amazing blogs about people, just like me, who struggled and found a solution.  After reading them I just couldn't wait to have it done.  I researched my local surgeon options and picked a surgeon who I felt was just right for me.

What I have learned so far:
SOOOOOO much!!  How do I even capture everything... OK so the first thing I have learned is that everyone's experience with the lapband is an individual experience, although we all may have similiarities each and every one of us has something new to bring to the mix.

The most important thing is that I no longer 'hate'on myself.  So I feel like a chocolate - I have one.  I no longer feel guilty for making that choice. 

Exercise needs to be a part of my life.  I choose to exercise more.  Not because I have to but because I really enjoy it.  To be honest the lighter I get the more I enjoy it.

People can be judgemental.  I am not secret about my lapband but in saying that I do not shout it from the rooftops either.  I love my band, but not everyone needs to know I have it!

Before and now:
Before I was unhappy with myself, now I am learning all about this new person I am.  I haven't changed (much) but I have certainly changed my perception of myself.

Before I was addicted to food, now it is somewhat controlled and I am learning new ways to deal with my emotions rather than medicating with food.

Before I was 132kgs, now I am 95kgs.

Before I was a size 24-26, now I am a size 16-18.

Before I was out of control, now I am in control.  I literally use to just shovel food into my mouth, now I think about every  bit of food that passes my lips.  I need to think about every piece.  If I don't I could end up in a very embarrassing situation!!!

Best Things:
Smaller healthier body
Unexpected Friendships
Self worth
Keeping up with my kids :)

Worst Things:
Having to think about every single morsel of food that passes my lips
BP experiences and the slime :(
ummm... that's pretty much it!!!

Would I do it again if I had to:

Best advice I can give:
Do your research BEFORE you have the surgery.  Know what you are in for, talk to real people who have had it done, DO NOT expect your experience will be the same and most importantly DO NOT COMPARE yourself against others who have had it done - as they say individual results will vary!! :)

My year in pictures:

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

One year today!

Guess who is turning 1?
That's right - PORTIA is!  Happy Birthday Portia :)

Happy bandiversary to me, happy bandiversary to me
35 kilos I have lost,  how great it is to see!!! 

Yummo!  That cake looks awesome (too bad I can't eat cake now - but I can try the icing!!)  Oops I am getting distracted!  I had all these plans in my head about all the awesome stuff I will be able to write on my one year post but for the life of me it's not coming to me now, who knows maybe I will wake up and remember the post I was planning at like 3am in the morning!!  I will jot a few things down (so I remember them) and will give a more in depth evaulation of my first 12 months with Portia.  I was even planning to do the photo re-enactment that Joey did to show the then and nows.  Watch this space!

Monday, November 7, 2011

It's almost a year in...

I can't believe that in around a week's time it will be one full year since my surgery.  I am so thankful to myself everyday that I was strong enough to be selfish enough to do this surgery. I can honestly say that I have no guilt whatsoever at this point in time.  It has taken me a long time to reach this point, especially since it was a considerable financial cost.  Best. Decison. Ever!

I went to the beach with some family and friends yesterday and I was uploading the photos on my computer and thought it would be fun to do a quick comparison since the last time I went to the beach, which was in January.

 I amazed by the difference!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

So I have kinda been AWOL lately ...

Sorry about that :/

I have not been completely gone - I have still been browsing, reading and even commenting on your blogs at times but when it comes time to actually write a blog, I get stuck for words.

I have tried to analyse the causes for this hiatus.  I am still losing weight (allbeit slowly), I am not feeling paticularly crappy for any reason, I am not hiding deliberately - maybe I am a turtle blogger.  I pop my head out every now and then say hi and give a bit of an update then I go back in my shell when I feel like I have nothing of substance to contribute.  I didn't even take many family snaps this month, so I couldn't even just fill a picture post to compensate my lack of words.

I have a full on couple of months coming up.  Starting with a beach visit this long weekend, a baby shower, then my son Xavier's birthday party, two other kids birthday parties we need to attend followed by numerous Christmas get togethers, my daughter Acadia's birthday party 3 days before Christmas and then Christmas and New Year festivities.  I don't know how I am going to get through it without going insane.

I must admit - I am not looking forward to the festive season.  In fact I am starting to really hate all holidays that involve consuming food!  Don't get me wrong - I love portia (my band) to bits but on special occasions I kinda wish she would take a few days off!!!  I am thinking of cheating and keeping the fill level I have now - which is on the tight side - up until mid December and then have a bit taken out over the holidays to accommodate a more food-friendly experience.  Don't judge!! lol