Friday, January 28, 2011

26 hours to go ...

My next fill is in 26 hours!!! I am not sure whether to be excited or annoyed...

I feel excitement because I need this feel to kick-start the weight loss train (it has been stuck at the station since late December) but I am pre-empting my annoyed-ness (I think I just made up a word!) at not being able to eat what my head 'thinks' I should/could/would eat.

So pretty much my scale has been floating up and down the same 1kg since Boxing Day. I have now been banded for 74 days and have lost 10.6kgs - that works out to about 990grams loss per week since surgery. I must admit I am a little dissappointed :( I was hoping to maintain an average over 1 kg per week. All in all though it's not too bad. I keep having to remind myself that I would gain weight if not for Portia so I really need to take a step back and look at the full picture.

Strangely enough I was talking with a friend at lunch about peoples size's and perception of size. She is aware I have the band and as we were talking we happened across the topic of sizes and how people misjudge other people's sizes etc. She has always felt that people think she weighs less that what she actually does and that is how I feel.

Let me explain further: My friend felt I looked like an Australian size 18 (I WISH!) and I said 'You'd be surprised!'. . . . and she was! The work pants I am wearing today are a size 24!! Thats 3 sizes larger than she thought! Similar theme goes for what I thought of her size - I said she looked like a 12 and she told me she was a 14. Isn't that weird. I have (and do) feel like people must think I am HUGE -because thats how I feel - whereas the truth may be that they actually think I am smaller?? This blows my mind. I kept well away from revealing true weights though ;) lol

Anyways back to my need for a fill:
  • I am eating well over the acceptable amount for any bandster
  • I am snacking too
  • The scale has stopped being nice to me
  • I still fit into the same clothes I have always worn (no saggy elephant butt pants look for me yet)
  • I want to be able to eat less without being able to fit more in
  • I would like to move past the 10kg lost mark (it has always been a barrier for me in the past - and I would like to smash it to pieces!

Wish me luck - let's hope this fill brings me to that "G-Spot" that Read and Sandy Lee have been going on about!!!


  1. Luck!!! that list of signs seems to indicate the need for a fill to me..go for it.


  2. I didn't get any serious loss until my third fill, so hang in there! And sure, it is annoying sometimes because you so badly want to join the fam in eating this or that, but you can't always, and that is okay. It will be more than worth it!

  3. I know for a fact that people have no idea what size or weight I am! My best friend is a Dietian and works with over weight people all the time. She was shocked when I said I wanted to lose over 50lbs. I kept that figure low because I was a little embarrased that I really needed to lose closer to 100. She was baffled. Strange! Good luck!

  4. I am definitely exhibiting the same signs as you, I've been grazing for weeks! I'm lucky I lose one pound per week. :( Hopefully this fill will leave you feeling a little more restriction! Good luck with it!

  5. I hope the second fill went well for you! I know it did for me, kick started me off again. I understand the 'annoyed-ness' your speaking off. It is so frustrating when your head just wants to eat a big plate of food and at two bites in your already uncomfortable!