I think I have it

Restriction that is!

I have hardly eaten anything since my fill on Saturday. The scale is starting to move already (?) sitting at my lowest weight now - feeling positive, which is good. It really starts to mess with your head when that pesky scale becomes stubborn.

I struggled with tea last night - my favourite - Chicken Parma :( gave it two attempts 3 hours apart - was never going to happen :( Oh well I guess I am just going to have to learn to accept that sometimes I can eat certain things and sometimes I just can't!

I have no hunger at all. I am enjoying this feeling. I am a little gurgly, but other than that - ALL GOOD.

This weekend I felt so weird, Saturday I was feeling flat and down and that feeling kind of crept into Sunday. I met up with some local bandsters for lunch which was lovely. Cruised the local market and went for a long walk that evening. Didn't get much of the required housework done but it was nice to have a relaxing day without worrying about doing dishes or folding washing.

We all need a break from the normal day-to-day stuff every now and then! :)

26 hours to go ...

My next fill is in 26 hours!!! I am not sure whether to be excited or annoyed...

I feel excitement because I need this feel to kick-start the weight loss train (it has been stuck at the station since late December) but I am pre-empting my annoyed-ness (I think I just made up a word!) at not being able to eat what my head 'thinks' I should/could/would eat.

So pretty much my scale has been floating up and down the same 1kg since Boxing Day. I have now been banded for 74 days and have lost 10.6kgs - that works out to about 990grams loss per week since surgery. I must admit I am a little dissappointed :( I was hoping to maintain an average over 1 kg per week. All in all though it's not too bad. I keep having to remind myself that I would gain weight if not for Portia so I really need to take a step back and look at the full picture.

Strangely enough I was talking with a friend at lunch about peoples size's and perception of size. She is aware I have the band and as we were talking we happened across the topic of sizes and how people misjudge other people's sizes etc. She has always felt that people think she weighs less that what she actually does and that is how I feel.

Let me explain further: My friend felt I looked like an Australian size 18 (I WISH!) and I said 'You'd be surprised!'. . . . and she was! The work pants I am wearing today are a size 24!! Thats 3 sizes larger than she thought! Similar theme goes for what I thought of her size - I said she looked like a 12 and she told me she was a 14. Isn't that weird. I have (and do) feel like people must think I am HUGE -because thats how I feel - whereas the truth may be that they actually think I am smaller?? This blows my mind. I kept well away from revealing true weights though ;) lol

Anyways back to my need for a fill:

• I am eating well over the acceptable amount for any bandster
• I am snacking too
• The scale has stopped being nice to me
• I still fit into the same clothes I have always worn (no saggy elephant butt pants look for me yet)
• I want to be able to eat less without being able to fit more in
• I would like to move past the 10kg lost mark (it has always been a barrier for me in the past - and I would like to smash it to pieces!

Wish me luck - let's hope this fill brings me to that "G-Spot" that Read and Sandy Lee have been going on about!!!

Monday BYOC!

OK so I know this is supposed to be a Friday thing but I like to break the mold!! So here is my Monday BYOC!!

1. For $50,000 – would you go without brushing your teeth, showering or wearing deodorant for 3 months?

Umm...NO! I LOVE my showers, deodorant and brushing teeth I could possibly do without but definately can not survive without my shower!!

2. Is it harder to tell someone you love them or harder to tell someone you don’t love them back?

I think hurting someone by not returning the love would be harder - but you should never say you love someone if you don't love them - that's even worse!

3. What is on your bedside table?

An alarm clock.

4. If you could be invisible, who would you kiss?

Wait a minute .... would kissing someone MAKE me invisible??

5. Repeat question: Summarize your life in blog land and real life.

Blog life - I got an award!!! YAY - I am behind in my reading but my plan for tomorrow is to catch up on how everyone else is doing :)

Real life - Is just so darn busy!! My kids are going to multiple birthday parties every weekend, I am working full time and family I haven't seen in donkeys years are over for a whirlwind visit!!

Band life - I NEED A FILL NOW!!!!!

You love me, you really, really love me!!!

I love Jim Carrey - that was a quote from the movie The Mask - one of my favs!

Oh, getting back on track ... Look mum! I got an award!!!!

Thank you to Outback Bandit for this award. If you don't follow her, go check out her blog (just click on the purple text).

So the rules of accepting this award are as follows:

Thank the person who gave you the award, reveal seven things about yourself, and nominate 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered or love. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they've been nominated.

OK so here goes:

1. I have been with my partner in crime since my 16th Birthday :)

2. I am not a maternal person - I love my kids dearly, and have loved every moment with them but the older they get the more I am enjoying them.

3. I was born on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini. This makes me a stubborn person who is always right and can't make up her mind!! I am also prone to starting lots of projects but never finishing them because I get bored .. Go figure!

4. My partner, me, my kids and even my mum were all born in years that were even numbers..

5. I am tall - 173cm - well I think that's tall. All of my friends are shorter than me.

6. I have copied this one from outback bandit because it is exactly the same for me - I would much prefer to mow the grass than vaccumn the house. I really want to mow the grass right now. It's annoying me that it's got so long, but I cant start the mower and the boy is away at the moment - Except the part about my boy being away - but I do need Charlie to start it for me to!!!

7. I've never really been one to write before and this blog has been my first real experience with sharing things that go around in my head. I tend to be more of a thinker unless I have something to say and then you can't shut me up!!


OK so I am short for time so I will only nominate 5 for this award :( sorry!

1. Living large in CC
2. Band-babe
3. My Lapband Journal
4. Joining the 'band' wagon ...
5. My rescue is possible

Til next time!

**Edited to include the picture of the award (duh!)

Re-cap of the plan..

OK so the plan was:

1. Keep exercising - CHECK!
2. Keep making healthier food choices - umm .. getting there :s
3. Drink even more water - CHECK!
4. Do not weigh myself everyday - Need to address stat!!!
5. Blog more - not really happening, but at the moment that is more to do with me being so busy!!

Well I'm not there yet 2 definates out of 5.... not a bad start - not good either, but I'll take it.

I took my measurements (insert shock here) I am hoping to reduce the numbers I recorded ASAP. I will focus around the core area first.

I'm off, it's 11pm and I have had a huge day! Nite all :)

Wow! 70 followers!

That is incredible. Thank you for your support.

Measurements...

How important has it been to you to take measurements throughout your journey?

I have just realised that I haven't done this yet and was wondering if it was too late. What do you think ... is taking measurements 9 weeks in too late??

Thank you ... Thank you very much!

for all of your wonderful comments!


Sometimes it's just a bit nice to have people reiterate the good voice in your head - you know, the one that tells you 'Yes there is a change' or 'Yes your hard work is paying off - keep up the great work'.


Too many times I have let the bad voice take over and win -Not this time! With my increased awareness of my self sabotaging ways and you guys out there supporting me - I have no chance of letting that bad voice beat me!

It has come to my attention that I have not introduced my 'fur-babies' to you all. I will fix this situation immediately!!


I have two dogs - a dalmation and a chihuahua - Daisy and Zena. Daisy is 10 years old and we have had her since she was a pup with no spots! Zena is a relatively new addition to the family via adoption (We took her in after her previous owners couldn't have any pets in their rental property).

Despite their size difference they are getting along like a house on fire and don't seem to hate on each other, which is very nice.

Zena

Zena & Daisy

Aren't they just adorable!!

My 'no excuses' attitude is still alive and kicking - I have walked every night now for the past 2 weeks. I am at the point where I really look forward to walking. I find I am getting stronger which is a good side effect! The kids are loving it too.


I have been a bit slack in regards to doing my Jillian Michaels workout on the Wii. I was hoping to do this 3 times a week but so far am only managing once per week. I will try to improve on this but I am struggling with time. I need to get better at organising everything in my life - baby steps!!!


Until next time .. take care!

2 months today!

Today is my 2 month anniversary from my surgery date (I sound like a teenager talking about their first boyfriend - "today is our one week anniversary etc etc!! lol)

Time for progress pictures..... Dum dum duuuuuum!!!

Without further ado, here they are:

Result: Not too much of a change, I will still keep doing the monthly shots though cause its a great visual aid for my progress. My jeans are definately baggier!

Til next time :)

Bandster hell?... Is that you?

I think YES!

Actually, I've been here for a while but was more blaming my lack of weightloss on the whole Christmas and New Year celebrations thing. Now that that is all over and done with, no more excuses, I have come to the realisation that it's the much discussed BANDSTER HELL!!!!

I have upped my exercise, made healthier food choices and upped my water intake for the past 2 weeks with no results as yet - the scale has actually risen a little. I am trying not to let that get to me, but the scale beast is a little harder to tame than I would ever have thought possible. I am not someone who counts calories, or protein or anything really. I do keep an eye on my portions and what type of foods I am eating but I do not count anything.

Honestly the reason for this is that in all my previous 'dieting' efforts it has always required me to count this or that, and I just couldn't maintain it. I know it is something I may have to look into in the future, even if its only to get me out of a rut period but for now, I just can't even contemplate the thought of counting...

My plan to get through this? Wow did I just say plan? See how much I've changed already!! I am making PLANS! That is an NSV in itself!!!

Sorry I digress .... the plan is this:

1. Keep exercising - I want to improve my fitness as well as create some muscle tone for this skin of mine to cling to...

2. Keep making healthier food choices - If I find myself wanting something bad tell myself I can have it only after drinking a glass of water first.... (hopefully this will eliminate the craving physically)

3. Drink even more water - see point 2, this will help me achieve this...

4. Do NOT weigh myself everyday, or twice a day or even three times a day - yes that is how bad I have become - Kellie FFS!!! once a week only!!! (baby steps..lol)

5. Blog more - even when I feel I have nothing to say - I'm sure once I start the words will flow like verbal dia... umm, you get the idea!

So there you have it. My 5 point plan to get through my 'bandster hell' phase. Its obviously not rocket science, but simple is always best for me when it comes to changing my lifestyle.

Back to work today :( and other random thoughts!

Hello fellow bloggers!

After having a wonderful 3 weeks off for the holidays I am back at work today :( Me no likey!!! It makes it really hard to get back into the swing of things, back to the 'work' routine.

I know, I should stop complaining, some people don't have any time off during the holidays etc etc. I am thankful for every second I had at home with the kids. It sounds strange but I am really appreciating who the kids are becoming. They have each developed their own little 'something-something' and they are becoming truly wonderful little people. I am so proud of them and who they are and who they will be. I am getting all down now :( I miss them so much!

Let's talk about the band (a nice little distraction to keep me from welling up!).

Portia is being a little fickle as of late. I know she is there, but she seems to have relaxed a little since the week of Christmas/New Year. I am assuming that the restriction that I had then was good and the lack of restriction I have now is bad (for weight loss anyways). I know I NEED a fill but I don't really WANT one. This is the brain-talk trying to get the better of me... Dear Kellie's Brain, Kellie is getting this fill - NO EXCUSES! Love Portia-the-band xox

I am booked in for the 29th for my second fill. I am taking things fairly slowly (6-7 weeks between Dr's visits) as I really want to be able to work with Portia and understand how she affects my body etc. I think it will be better for the long haul if I can at least understand how fills will affect me and how long they take to make a difference and so forth.

Overall I am happy with my weight loss. I have lost 10kgs in 8 weeks. Thats over 1kg per week which is right on track. My goal is to average between .5 and 1 kg per week so I am above target and am hoping to maintain that.

I have made a committment to myself that 2011 is the year for NO EXCUSES. I use TV as a big excuse. Such and such a show is on so I can't...... will no longer be in my vocabulary!! This is all part of me respecting myself. I will respect myself too much to be lazy and sit in front of the TV. I will go for my daily walks. The only times I will for-go my walk will be to do alternative excercise eg. play netball or basketball. (ps. I can't wait til the new seasons start at the local YMCA for my sport - I love playing team sports!)

I have been walking nearly every night and have been enjoying it so much. The kids seem to enjoy getting out to which I love. I am hoping that they will be fit and healthy as they grow older and understand that being healthy is 'cool' too!

Absent blogger...

Truth is I have just realised I am pretty slack at blogging! I LOVE reading everyone's blog and posting the odd comment here and there but when it comes time to actually post something, my mind just goes kinda tingly and blank. Do I have blogger's block? Does my subconcious know how uninteresting I really am? Maybe I should do some bloggers bullets just to let you know what's on my mind, maybe the words will come easier.....here goes!

• I am in my 8th week of being banded (it's gones so fast!)
• I have lost around 10kgs (22pds)
• I don't think Portia and I are friends! Maybe when my weightloss starts to be highly visable I will appreciate her efforts more!
• I am currently at the stage in previous weightloss attempts where I would sabotage myself. I have promised myself that I would not do this. It is hard. There are lots of temptations but I will remain strong!

My word for 2011 is RESPECT. respect myself, my body, my mind. it's about time...

Until next time!