It was bound to happen I guess. I just didn't think it would be so full on. I have read alot about how the band can 'feel' tight and I have read alot about the bandster 'portions' so I really thought I was prepared for everything.... *duh dum* .... no I wasn't!

I wasn't prepared for the uncomfortableness it now is to eat. I was not prepared for how hard eating in a social setting would be. I wasn't prepared for how easy it is to revert to bad habits when these things happen.

Its not all doom and gloom though. I have lost 10 kilograms. Awesome!

Christmas dinner - The food was fabulous - I was going along well - tiny plate, lots of chewing, small bites....but I had hit some trouble with a baked carrot.... it wasn't pleasant and I am not sure why really but I got so upset that I just couldn't eat my lunch with everyone else. That was the first time I have really resented Portia.

I had a run of getting stuck and PBing once everyday for 4 days. I was hating it! The past 2 days have been really good (no PBs) but I am not exactly eating as good as I should be. The plan is to get back on track.

I am home with the kids for a couple of weeks, they are running me ragged!! But it is so much fun to be with them - hence less posting.

I hope you all have had a wonderful holiday and happy new year to all. 2011 is going to be awesome for me and I hope it will for you all too!!

The big guy came, and left presents!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

The kids had a ball this morning unwrapping presents, lunch is well and truly over and now I am stuffed and enjoying the silence that lots of new toys bring!

Hope you are all having a wonderful Christmas :)

First Fill !!!

Hello there!

Today was my first fill. I wasn't nervous, until he went to get the needle! Then I clamped my eyes shut until it was over!!! (Yes I am a big sook!)

Mum made the journey with me today as Charlie was at work. It also gave us a chance to shop, shop, shop!

I picked up a few Chrissy presents and then we headed to the surgery. The doc was running half hour behind so we decided to walk a couple of blocks and come back (I hate sitting idle waiting..) and then came back. We still had to wait 15-20 mins but it was heaps better than the possible 45 mins without the walk!

He called me in and asked how my first 5 weeks had been (wow - it's been 5 weeks already!), I confessed that I had been a little naughty and he asked me to get on the scale.

7.3kgs down since the surgery (according to me it's a little more but I'll take it!) as it was a good loss he didn't say too much about my naughtiness but did suggest I DO NOT eat and drink at the same time. I have been having trouble with this rule. It such a habit and its proving hard to break. I told him I will try my best and keep working on it.

So the moment came for the fill, I got up on the bed, he went to grab the needle and I clamped my eyes shut!!! He checked out the healed/ing wounds and felt for the port - he said all was looking well, asked me to do a mini sit up and he popped the needle in. Funnily enough I didn't really feel it too much - it was no worse than a blood test. He got the port first time (YAY) and then drained it out (just in case) and then put in 2.5mls.

After waiting a few minutes after a drink of water - I was right to go. How easy was that? Way easier than I expected! All done in less than 5 minutes :D

Next appt 29 January. Let's hope I have another good loss before then!

Holiday Challenge .. Final Weigh in!

Well today I weighed in for the final week for the Holiday Challenge!

I am currently weighing less now than I have over the past 18 months which is a fantastic feeling. I still can't see it, but I know it's gone from somewhere, right?

My daughter's 2nd birthday party was yesterday. Thank goodness the weather played nice and the rain held off. Everyone had a ball and here is a couple of pics from the party:

The cake - a lady bug - made by moi!

My 2 gorgeous kids!!

She loves her new scooter - now she can ride with her brother instead of trying to steal his!

Happy holidays everyone!!!

1 month bandiversary!

Today is my one month bandiversary!

I don't really have anything to write about but at one month down I am 7.5 kgs lighter and it is starting to feel amazing.

I am not noticing a change with my appearance as yet (see progress photos) but I am feeling different. My pants are feeling a little looser, my shirt's are not as tight, my feet are no longer full of fluid and aching at the end of the day.

I am thankful for all these subtle changes,and I know that this is only the beginning and its all going to be great from here.

PS I think I really need a fill!! My portions are increasing ever so slightly - 5 more days - I can handle that!!

Gain :( & Christmas Tree Pic :)

Well it was bound to happen eventually .... right?

I weighed in for the challenge today and was up 0.3kgs (0.7 pounds) which isn't really much considering that I have been ravenous this week!

I don't know if it's usual or not but this week I feel as though I am eating huge amounts of food! I don't have any fill in my band yet so I guess that explains why - but boy oh boy do I miss the feeling of not being hungry :(

On the bright side - my feet have lost all of the fluid in them so I can now fit into my shoes alot more comfortably, especially my little balck flats which I wear to work. Before they felt like I was trying to stuff them in, now they slip right in and are alot more comfortable to wear all day!

I am a little obsessed with the scale right now and hate the fact that I am starting to stress over the ups and downs during the week. I like to keep track of my progress though so I will have to keep the emotions in check in future! Earlier this week (in middle of TOM) I went up another 1.5 kgs (3.3 pounds) so I should be thankful that it came down today :)

So it's nearly that time of year again. Christmas! It is also my daughter's 2nd Birthday 3 days befolre, so it's always a busy time of year for us. I have most of the shopping done and just need to worry about the food now. Little Miss is having a costume party for her birthday. She is dressing up as a ladybug and the boy is dressing up as a pirate. They are going to look gorgeous!

Here is a picture of the kidlets with our tiny tree (one day - when we have the room, we will get a bigger tree!) but it's cute and I like it! The thing I love most is the personalised things the kids make to hang on the tree. Last year it was wooden christmas trees painted green with christmas thingys glued on them and pictures of them in the centre (too cute) :)

Have a lovely week!

Z Z Z .. Zumba!

OMG how much fun is Zumba!

Mum came with me an we arrive just as the previous Zumba Toning Class is finishing and they are all walking out red-faced and sweating like nothing else, mum an I just look at each other like "What are we doing here?"

So we pay and go in and take our positions in the far back corner (as you do!). I was feeling pretty good about our spot, there was a fairly good crowd, not squishy but I thought it was enough people to keep me fairly anonymous from the instructor.... Wrong!

She starts off the class by asking if there were any newbies ... well mum slightly raised her hand so I thought I better too! The instructor yells out "Don't be afraid, I have a really good view of the back row!" Bugger! there goes my 'stay out of the instructor's eyeline'....

She then starts up some music, good rhythm and we get into the warm up.... I was spent after the warm up! I said to mum "OK that's good for me, let's go!" but no - we stayed and soldiered on! We literally spent the entire class trying to keep up!! I was contantly behind and was way slower than the instructor and I couldn't help but just giggle at myself the entire time! I have never sweated and laughed at myself so much in my life!

I cracked up into hysterics when I caught mum in the corner of my eye doing the Beyonce-esque breast pump move - hillarious!!!!

We both walked out saying how much fun we had and we made a semi-pact to continue Zumba!

I posted on face book that I had an awesome time and a few friends have also put there hands up to join us next time. I am really looking forward to it!

My advice to anyone who is thinking of doing it? Do it!!! I am the most unco person in the world and had a blast - I didn't even care that people may have been looking at me. Thats's how much fun I had!

This morning my shoulders and arms ache - that's good right?

60 followers? are you sure? That's amazing!

WOW! I see I have 60 followers... that blows my mind! Thank you - for your support, your comments, even me just knowing that you are all out there somewhere in cyberspace is somewhat comforting. Knowing that we are all going through similar journeys, all different and individual - ups and downs... well you get the drift. I love the blogging community, always there...

I have news on the exercise front, I have stopped procrastinating and am heading to ZUMBA! I am FINALLY going to do it - Yes I am, ZUMBA - TONIGHT! I have conned mum into coming with me so it will be tonnes of fun. I am sure that I am going to keel over half way through, but I am going to give it my best shot! I am liking what others are saying about it and even though I'm not the most coordinated person, I hope that I can at least pick up on the basics. Hope!

Wish me luck! I will report back tomorrow how I go!

Weigh in results and other general ramblings..

Yesterday (yes this post is a day late!) I weighed in for the weekly challenge. I was down. I'm not 100% sure by how much since last week but I am currently at my lowest weight yet during this journey and it feels great!

I have now lost 7 kgs total since November 15. That is awesome. I am very happy with my progress so far. I still have a lot (and I mean A LOT) of bad habits I need to break.

The first is: Farmer's Union Iced Coffee! OMG I am a total addict. There should be a support group for this!

Secondly, breakfast: I am not really feeling much hunger, but I'm not sure if it's because of the band or the limited food choices. I am struggling to even think about eating in the mornings. As it is now is 10.30am and I have drunk half a coffee. I just don't seem to have an appetite of a morning.

And thirdly, night time eating: Evenings is a whole new ball game. My previous bad habits of night time eating (just before bed) are very hard to resist. Last night I did laps from the lounge to the fridge opening it (you know, just for a look...) - I did this about 10 times, on the 11th I grabbed a bit of cheese. Oh its so difficult to keep resisting ..... bring on the 20 December when I have my first fill!

Ta-ta for now :)

Week 3 Ramblings

Week 3 has been good. Mushies have been great, eating wise but I am starting to struggle to vary the food. I tend to stay wikth the same sort of foods. I need to experiment more.

I have never turned to tuna so much! Tuna really is a bandsters best friend. I am also loving the pumpkin soup but cause its now summer here I am not really 'feeling' soup right now.

This is my last week at home (yes, I was a big sook and took 3 weeks off work!) so next week will be very different for me. I will be packing my lunch (*cue gasp) yes that's right I will be taking my lunch. Its not something I have ever really been able to maintain but it will be out of necessity rather than that I really want to do it.

Any mushie lunch suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Weight-wise, I think since going onto the mushies my weightloss has stalled too. I am told that this is normal until I get my first fill - or maybe my 2nd or 3rd depending how long it takes to have an impact.

I feel as though there is no restriction at all at the moment and am finding I can eat more than the cup - or is ikt half a cup? - I am supposed to be eating. I am not getting stressed over this though. I know eventually it will start to come off and I am not going to add the additional pressure to my mind in questioning why it isn't coming off yet.

So I am still sitting at about 6 kgs down. I have literally lost this same 6kgs over the past 18 months - I couldn't even be one of those huge weightloss swinging yo-yos - not me it was about 5-10 kgs each time for me - the problem was that I would always seeem to gain a little more than I lost.

This time round I am confident that this will work for me. I am finding that I am more head hungry than anything. I am not physically hungry during meals but I still go to the pantry or the fridge - you know just to have a 'look' to see whats there. Everytime I conciously catch myself doing it I give myself a mental smack on the brain - stop that!

Hope you are all travelling well - the silly season is upon us - I still haven't put up the tree but I have promised the kids it will be tonight! They are so excited.

Well thats all. Hope you all have a lovely weekend - I have got way too much to do - including a 5th birthday and a baby shower to attend as well as a lovely brunch with some fellow bandsters - but it will be great!