Where did March go?

Holy crap I can't believe it's almost the end of March already.  I swear time is just zooming by and taking my warm weather with it :(  It's a nice sunny 21 degrees here today, so I can't complain but the temperature sure is dropping of an evening Brrr!

I have had a fill since my last update, a very very needed fill!  I had 0.2ml put in and I am definately noticing the difference :)  my scales are also noticing the difference which makes me happy :)  I have literally not been feeling like I need to eat food at all, however my brain still thinks it wants to and tries to, but after a couple of mouthfuls, its like "not going to happen" or "if I eat anymore this will end badly".  I am trying to listen to my body more times than my head but sometimes my head still wins - my head frustrates me!

I have pretty much been trying to meet my goals every week.  I have had struggles with the eating after 7pm goal until this last fill on Friday, since then it hasn't been a problem.  The other one I was struggling with was the 30 minutes of exercise.  My knee has started to feel good this week, so I am thinking about playing sport again - albeit taking it very easy.  I don't think I have done any major damage and the medication and compression are doing wonders.  I will of course strap the hell out of it when I play just to make sure!!!

The plan is to continue with my current goals and one additional goal - Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day.

I have always struggled with drinking enough water whilst I have had good restriction, but I think the problem was always my focus on the need to eat food not necessarily because I was hungry but because I would feel like I couldn't eat if I drank.  Well duh Kellie, I think that might be the point!! (light bulb moment!) lol

So sorry I keep forgetting to update regularly, but for some reason I struggle with time I just feel like I never have enough of it and when I do have spare moments I am literally chilling out reading a book!!

Keep up the great work fellow bloggers - you are all amazing!

Til next time :) 

 

Knee and Goal Update

So I went to see the doc about my knee, turns out that I mis diagnosed myself in my quest through g00gle!  Of course I did!  It turns out that I have done something to my crucial ligament.  There is alot of localised swelling and I have been told to rest it at every opportunity, keep it taped (compressed) and I am on anti-inflammitories and panadol for the pain and swelling.  I am forbidden to play netball and basketball for up to 8 weeks :( which sucks but unless I want to risk a serious injury I am to follow doctors orders!!!

As for my goals

Goal 1:  No eating after 7pm

Fail!  I tried so hard to do this, but it turns out that Portia has decided to ramp up on the restriction during the daylight hours which makes it so hard not to eat in the late afternoons - early evenings.  This is something that I find strange considering up until last fortnight I literally had no restriction at all!

Goal 2:  Minimum exercise 30 mins for 7 days straight

Success!  Only walking (given the doctors orders) and aqua fitness - but exercise is exercise!!

Goal 3:  Do not stress the small stuff

Success!  It helps that I have decided not to care about work at all!  I have adopted the philosophy that I have to stop caring about the things that I have no power to change and accept that sometimes you just go to go with the flow.

Goal 4:  Stay away from the charity box at work

Epic fail!  Damn those charity chocolates but there is just no way I can resist those white fredd0 frogs!!!

All in all not to bad, but heaps of room for improvement.  I will keep the same goals just to keep up the momentum and hopefully I will be able to report success for all 4 goals :)

Til next time!

Dr Appt is booked and some goals

So I will find out what the go is with my knee.  I hope its nothing too serious, I would hate to be out of action as I need to shift some of this summer weight that has crept on me!  I have been all over the place with my diet lately, I don't know if its hormaonal, money stress or me just slipping back into bad habits.  There is certainly alot of negative energy around and I am trying so hard to to buy into it or be dragged into it.  I need to start focussing on the bigger picture and have small goals to achieve to help me get there.

Goal 1 - No eating after 7pm
I am a shocker for eating at night. Hopefully this will kick in my appetite for earlier the next day.... we'll see.


Goal 2 - Minimum excerise of 30 mins per day for 7 days straight
I have been using my knee as a good excuse not to exercise everyday. I have been doing my normal netball/basketball/aqua routine but I need to step it up and make it count everyday.



Goal 3 - Do not stress on the small stuff
I am finding the samll things at work are really irritating me. I don't know why but it's gotta stop!



Goal 4 - Stay away for the charity chocolate box at work!
Damn those charity chocolates - you feel guilty if you do and guilty if you don't!!!

I will report back next thursday to see how I go.

I think I have a miniscus tear :(

Which totally sucks, and at this stage is 100% self diagnosed!!

I have been on anti-inflammitory medications for approximately 2 weeks now with no signs of my knee getting better and so I thought I might give Goog.le a go to see if I could find out what the problem might be.  The prognosis is not good :(

The first treatment option listed is anti-inflammitories - they have not been working for me...
Second treatment option is cortisone injections and the third is surgery.  I wish I hadn't goog.led it but it definatley looks like a can't put off a doctors visit any longer.

Wish me luck!

 

Remember me..?

I used to be an active blogger - geez what happened?

So what's everyone been up to?  I have been tumbling from the band wagon ... absense from the blog scene definately makes the waist grow.  OK so it's not that bad, I have put on 3 kgs since mid December.  There are alot of things that have happened to aid this gain but the number one factor is me.  Me not exercising enough, me eating too much and me choosing to have fill out before Christmas!!

It was all going well until mid January, I was maintaining really well, then the portions slowly got bigger and bigger and being summer there is so many functions, barbeques and just plain old fun to be had!!

My next appointment is scheduled for 23 March, I am hoping to get in earlier for a fill but will have to call next week to see of there are any cancellations. 

I have missed reading your blogs and will be updating myself over the next few days.  I hope all is going well.

This is the year I plan to get to goal.  I need to re-focus and start working towards this. 

I will also be making it my aim to blog more frequently.  Accountability is the key!

Bye for now :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year Everyone - Only 3.5 hours to go until the fireworks go off and we begin 2012 in my part of the world :)

I hope all of you have a safe and happy new year.

My goal for 2012 - get to my goal weight.  I got some work to do but I know with my band, my new exercise habits and everyones support I will reach it.

18kgs to go!

 

What is everyone else hoping to achieve in 2012?

Wow! Christmas - what a ride it's been so far!!

Please excuse my lack of blogging - I have been very ... busy!  For some reason my days are just so full on lately that I haven't really had time to sit down and gather enough thoughts to post.

Let me start by saying that my Christmas has been pretty awesome.  Spending time with family is always great, and the kids eyes lighting up on Christmas Day are worth all the effort that us adults put into making it a special day for them.  I remember when Christmas just used to happen, I so appreciate my mum and family making it seem so effortless, having two kidlets of my own I now truly appreciate the effort they put into it each and every year!

Let me give you a quick Portia Update.  I had an appointment with Dr Tony on the 16 December with the intention of having a bit of fluid out for Christmas.  I went in, he asked how I was.  I said I wanted some fluid out.  He asked why.  I told him.  He said NO!!  He then told me that he wasn't comfortable with my reasons (to have a little rest over Christmas) and he asked me again what I 'needed' not 'wanted'.  I told him I definalty needed some taken out as I was having trouble getting real food in.  He abliged.  He took out .5ml instead of my requested 1ml and for that I am thankful.

He totally pulled me up on my self sabotaging behaviour.  I am so lucky that he is my surgeon for this exact reason.  I was subconciously (or slightly conciously) trying to sabotage my efforts.  A year on and I am still doing it to myself!  When will I learn?

So as for weightloss, it's all been pretty good, I am losing slowly but consistantly.  My exercise efforts have been pretty poor this last few weeks but I am struggling with motivation and having the kids on holidays is making it difficult to find the ME time I need to get it done.  I will be back on the exercise wagon ASAP.  I have also been indulging in one or a few too many iced coffees over the past week, but other than that all is rocking along nicely.

Being off work has been awesome.  I have to go back right after New Year's but I appreciate that I have been able to have a longer break than alot of people at this time of year.  Spending time with the kids has been good yet trying at times.  My daughter is really good at pushing my buttons so that has led to some trying moments but she's 3 so I can't hold it against her!!  Overall being home has been great.

I hope you all have had a lovely Christmas and have been able to spend quality time with those you love.  I will leave you a few pictures of my Christmas!!

Now it's time for me to go and catch up on all of your blogs!  I am looking forward to reading what each and everyone of you have been up to!

Have a happy and safe holidays!! :)

My 35kgs down present to myself!

Here is my present to myself for losing 35kgs!!  I love it!

Each of the critters represent myself, hubby, my son and my daughter - and like this tattoo I am crossing my fingers that the weight lost is also permanent!!!!

 

It is all free-hand from a dodgy hand drawn picture (drawn by me) that I brought in - I just said make it look awesome - and he did!  The tattooist is a true artist - amazing :)

Oh and the countdown is on for my pre-Christmas unfill!!  10 days to go :)

Slideshow

A montage of my journey thus far :) I hope it works!!

Free digital slideshow created with Smilebox

The year that was...

OK I promised and here it is, my extended 1 year post op blog post.  Better late than never!

Why did I choose surgery:
Well I was a skeptic at first....yes you read that right.  I was so skeptical I wasted at least 5 years of potentially being a healthy weight.  I tried all the diets, fads, pills, shakes, programs etc, but I always felt like a failure when I just couldn't sustain the lifestyle.  Then I used the excuse of wanting children.  Why get skinny now just to get fat again (?) OMG how stupid do I feel now for that excuse.  I made the final decision to have surgery when my youngest was nearly 1 and I just could not control my weight, no matter what I did  I always ended up bigger.

Why I chose lap band:
I chose lapband because it was considered less risky than the other surgery options.  I liked they idea that my organs were going to stay the same, there was no internal chopping going on etc.  I am a bit sooky when it comes to surgery so from all the options this seemed like the perfect choice for me.  I also looked up lapband on the internet and found all these amazing blogs about people, just like me, who struggled and found a solution.  After reading them I just couldn't wait to have it done.  I researched my local surgeon options and picked a surgeon who I felt was just right for me.

What I have learned so far:
SOOOOOO much!!  How do I even capture everything... OK so the first thing I have learned is that everyone's experience with the lapband is an individual experience, although we all may have similiarities each and every one of us has something new to bring to the mix.

The most important thing is that I no longer 'hate'on myself.  So I feel like a chocolate - I have one.  I no longer feel guilty for making that choice. 

Exercise needs to be a part of my life.  I choose to exercise more.  Not because I have to but because I really enjoy it.  To be honest the lighter I get the more I enjoy it.

People can be judgemental.  I am not secret about my lapband but in saying that I do not shout it from the rooftops either.  I love my band, but not everyone needs to know I have it!

Before and now:
Before I was unhappy with myself, now I am learning all about this new person I am.  I haven't changed (much) but I have certainly changed my perception of myself.

Before I was addicted to food, now it is somewhat controlled and I am learning new ways to deal with my emotions rather than medicating with food.

Before I was 132kgs, now I am 95kgs.

Before I was a size 24-26, now I am a size 16-18.

Before I was out of control, now I am in control.  I literally use to just shovel food into my mouth, now I think about every  bit of food that passes my lips.  I need to think about every piece.  If I don't I could end up in a very embarrassing situation!!!

Best Things:
Smaller healthier body
Unexpected Friendships
Self worth
Keeping up with my kids :)

Worst Things:
Having to think about every single morsel of food that passes my lips
BP experiences and the slime :(
ummm... that's pretty much it!!!

Would I do it again if I had to:
WITHOUT A DOUBT :D

Best advice I can give:
Do your research BEFORE you have the surgery.  Know what you are in for, talk to real people who have had it done, DO NOT expect your experience will be the same and most importantly DO NOT COMPARE yourself against others who have had it done - as they say individual results will vary!! :)

My year in pictures:

One year today!

Guess who is turning 1?

That's right - PORTIA is!  Happy Birthday Portia :)

Happy bandiversary to me, happy bandiversary to me

35 kilos I have lost,  how great it is to see!!! 

Yummo!  That cake looks awesome (too bad I can't eat cake now - but I can try the icing!!)  Oops I am getting distracted!  I had all these plans in my head about all the awesome stuff I will be able to write on my one year post but for the life of me it's not coming to me now, who knows maybe I will wake up and remember the post I was planning at like 3am in the morning!!  I will jot a few things down (so I remember them) and will give a more in depth evaulation of my first 12 months with Portia.  I was even planning to do the photo re-enactment that Joey did to show the then and nows.  Watch this space!

It's almost a year in...

I can't believe that in around a week's time it will be one full year since my surgery.  I am so thankful to myself everyday that I was strong enough to be selfish enough to do this surgery. I can honestly say that I have no guilt whatsoever at this point in time.  It has taken me a long time to reach this point, especially since it was a considerable financial cost.  Best. Decison. Ever!

I went to the beach with some family and friends yesterday and I was uploading the photos on my computer and thought it would be fun to do a quick comparison since the last time I went to the beach, which was in January.

 I amazed by the difference!

So I have kinda been AWOL lately ...

Sorry about that :/

I have not been completely gone - I have still been browsing, reading and even commenting on your blogs at times but when it comes time to actually write a blog, I get stuck for words.

I have tried to analyse the causes for this hiatus.  I am still losing weight (allbeit slowly), I am not feeling paticularly crappy for any reason, I am not hiding deliberately - maybe I am a turtle blogger.  I pop my head out every now and then say hi and give a bit of an update then I go back in my shell when I feel like I have nothing of substance to contribute.  I didn't even take many family snaps this month, so I couldn't even just fill a picture post to compensate my lack of words.

I have a full on couple of months coming up.  Starting with a beach visit this long weekend, a baby shower, then my son Xavier's birthday party, two other kids birthday parties we need to attend followed by numerous Christmas get togethers, my daughter Acadia's birthday party 3 days before Christmas and then Christmas and New Year festivities.  I don't know how I am going to get through it without going insane.

I must admit - I am not looking forward to the festive season.  In fact I am starting to really hate all holidays that involve consuming food!  Don't get me wrong - I love portia (my band) to bits but on special occasions I kinda wish she would take a few days off!!!  I am thinking of cheating and keeping the fill level I have now - which is on the tight side - up until mid December and then have a bit taken out over the holidays to accommodate a more food-friendly experience.  Don't judge!! lol

:)
 

Latest Comparison Pics :)

Because I am a total slacker and my words aren't working for me lately I thought it best just to put up some comparison pics.

This is the difference 11 months post op (less 32kgs or 70 pounds give or take)

What I've been up to lately

So while most of you fabulous people were living it up in Chicago, this is what I did:

We built a new front fence!!!

I am so excited.  this is the first ever big project that we have ever tackled and I think it looks pretty awesome.  All we have to do now is put and exterior varnish on it to protect it from the elements.

I have really enjoyed reading all of the Chicago posts.  I really wish I could attend one of these but unless we win lotto it's unlikely :(  for now I am just going to have to settle for your pictures and just imagining I was there!!!

I have been feeling really flat lately, I am not making the best choices food wise which isn't helping but I am heading back to work tomorrow so I am hoping that I will get back into a routine.  I have had the past week off and it has been amazing :) but not so amazing for my weight loss!

I was very impressed with my exercise this week.  I could have slacked off but I didn't I kept up my routine.  I did aqua fitness on Tuesday, mixed netball on Wednesday and Thursday because I didn't have basketball I threw in another aqua fitness class!!  At the moment I have only really had enough time to do planned exercise 3 nights a week.  I know I am going to have to bump that up in the near future but with both kids, working full time and trying to keep up with the household chores it gets a bit much.

Til next time :)

Double Digits!!!

I finally have seen the scale in double digit mode!  I am super excited!!!  It is still boucing up and down daily but the fact that I seen the scale reach such a low number has really inspired me to believe in myself more.

Last Friday I actually had an unfill of 0.1ml cause I was just so darn tight I was curdling milk in my stomach :( not nice at all!  Since the unfill I had a brief 'On my goodness I have to eat eveything in sight' experience but finally that has now past and I am getting back into a place where I am eating solid foods in better quantities.

For all you lovely ladies attedning BOOBS have an awesome time and know that each and every one of us who can't attend is JEALOUS bigtime!!  Travel safe and keep the good-time pics coming :)

10 month post op comparison pic :)

Happy Monday :)

Picture Post :)

Well I didn't get round to doing my 'regular' kind of progress pics today but here's a few I have taken over the past week or so :)

(mirror shot - sorry about the quality!)

(ready to go out to an engagement party)

(ready for work)

And here are some beautiful shots of my most favourite people in the world - my kids :)